Dirty Jokes

Washing Machine

A man is walking behind his wife and says,"Baby you arse  is getting so fat its looking like a washing machine."The woman keeps quiet and ... Full story

Why They Call You Handsome

Two people having sex it's called TWOSOME Three people having sex is called THREESOME Four people having sex is called FOURSOME... ...now I know why ... Full story

Doctor's Advice

- Doc, do you think I'll live another 40 years so I can reach 100?- That depends,says the doctor. Do you smoke?- No- Do you ... Full story

Kitchen relaxation

No Balls?

A man was being interviewed for a job."Were you in the service?" asked the interviewer."Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant."Did you take a ... Full story

Men And Balls

Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls ... Full story

Nonstop Action

This guy goes into a doctors and says,"Doctor, doctor you've gotta helpme. I just can't stop having sex!""Well,how often do you have it?" the doctor ... Full story

Qualities of a Perfect man

Eight qualities of the perfect man for a woman on Valentine's day...-Brave-Intelligent-Gentle-Polite-Energetic-Nutty-Industrious-Sensitiveand if all of it fails...well...read the CAPITAL LETTERS only then! ... Full story

Chilling

PMS, what it really means

-Pass My Shotgun-Psychotic Mood Shift-Perpetual Munching Spree-People Make me Sick-Provide Me with Sweets-Pardon My Sobbing-Pimples May Surface-Pass My Sweatpants-Pissy Mood Syndrome-Plainly...Men suck-Pack My Stuffand last ... Full story

Revenge

Three men were found in the wilderness by civilized cannibals. The men were led to a gravesite next to the water."You have two choices of ... Full story

Wild Hairdo

The Golden Years

I cannot seeI cannot peeI cannot chewI cannot screwOh my God,what can I do?My memory shrinksMy hearing stinksNo sense of smellI look like hellMy mood ... Full story

Life before computers

-Memory was something that you were loosing with age-An application was meant for employment-A program was a TV-show-A keyboard was a piano-A web was a ... Full story

Bike Man

Real Posing

Anger management

I will enroll in "Anger management" class when you enroll in "Shut the f*ck up" and "Keep your f*cking nose out of my business" classes! ... Full story

Diaper Gangsta

Find out by my eggs!

During the lesson a new teacher took out few many-colored eggs and asked Akpors,"Tell me kid, which bird this egg belongs to?""I don't know,"said Akpors."What ... Full story

Going For Gold

Real Friends

Real friends are like butt cheeks... Shit may try to separate them... but they always come back together. ... Full story

Strippers And Drug Dealers

If strippers can be called exotic dancers, then drug dealers should be called exotic pharmacists. ... Full story

Sperm Bank

I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase "Thanks for coming!" ... Full story

The right answer

The teacher drew a banana on a board and asked the class,"What is this,kids?"Akpors cried loudly from behind of a class,"It's a d*ck,madam!"The teacher ran ... Full story

Old Man Boogie

Let me see you dance,baby ... Full story

Tequila for the wife

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a ... Full story

Crazy dressing

"Modesty adorns"...hasn't she heard that? ... Full story

Punishment In Hell

Man died and went to Hell.He was told that every 1000 years his punishment will be changed and he had to choose his first one. In ... Full story

Santa with his pet

Dear Santa, I've been good all year... ok,most of the time... once in a while... F*ck it! I'll buy my own shit.  ... Full story

Santa In A Hurry...

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ... Full story